Bereavement and Grief

Bereavement is the loss of something important to us that is emotionally devastating such as the loss of a loved one, the loss of a pet, a relationship breakup or loss of good health.  We grieve for someone or something that is no longer in our life.

Grief affects everyone differently and can affect us mentally and physically.  Grief can cause a range of emotions including sadness, anger, happiness, confusion, shock and denial.

Grief comes in 5 stages Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression ten Acceptance.  The pain of loss can be very intense and come in waves over many months or years, there is no timescale for the grief process as we all go through this at our own pace.

Understanding the 5 stages of grief:

Stage 1 Denial – feeling numb is common and can help us to disassociate with the pain of loss, we don’t want to believe it has happened. We may even carry on as if nothing has happened.  Denial can slow the process down and give our brains time to adjust.  Denial can help process the loss one step at a time rather than be overwhelmed. 

Stage 2 Anger - this may be the first emotion to show and is a completely natural emotion, we may feel bitterness or resentment as loss can seem cruel and unfair.  Anger can mask all other emotions and provide a way to express the despair.

Stage 3 Bargaining - this is when reflection can occur, and the realization of the situation is becoming apparent.  Looking over things that happened in the past and asking, “what if” or “if only”, questioning if things had been done differently would the outcome be different or feeling helpless and have no control over the outcome.  Bargaining helps to make sense of the situation and take some control whilst masking the sadness.

Stage 4 Depression - the reality of the situation is apparent, and the feeling of loss is much greater, the emotional fog has lifted.  This can be the most difficult stage as we may not know how to process this, we may isolate from people as the feelings of loss can be overwhelming.  

Stage 5 Acceptance – acceptance is understanding what the loss means to you and how you can move forward in life.  Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean happiness or that the loss has been forgotten, it is just a reality that life may be different from now on.  There may still be many emotions however the struggle with grief has diminished and memories can be cherished.

If you are going through bereavement and grieving please get in touch as hypnotherapy can help with this.

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